About Rhoda – delivered at her "Sweet 16," March 29, 2009

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About Rhoda – delivered at her "Sweet 16," March 29, 2009

Posted by Avram Freedberg

About Rhoda – delivered at her “Sweet 16,” March 29, 2009

Thanks for joining us for this gala event. It’s NOT a birthday party. It is a celebration of Rhoda, a woman who does not like being the center of attention but who deserves to be respected, honored and, most of all, loved. If you will indulge me for just a few minutes, I’d like to ask you for your complete attention, so I can tell you about Rhoda’s Sweet 16. Many of you wanted to know why it’s called her Sweet 16… did it have anything to do with the NCAA Basketball tournament? Was it the 16th anniversary of an important event? Does 16 sound like a different number which might relate to her birthday?

The answer is the most obvious one. She has always looked like a sweet 16. She might not get carded anymore but that’s just because she is often accompanied by a much older body guard. The card inspectors are so shocked she’s with me, they don’t regain their composure in time to ask to see her ID. Since we just saw South Pacific, I’m inspired to sing to you, Rhoda:

Younger than springtime, are you
Softer than starlight, are you,
Warmer than winds of June,
Are the gentle lips you gave me.
Gayer than laughter, are you,
Sweeter than music, are you,
Angel and lover, heaven and earth,
Are you to me.

In any case, SHE IS stunning to look at. No one can deny that fact. That’s thanks to good genetics and, of course, I keep her young by the way I take care of her! Since I am a well-known, egocentric narcissist, I felt she was precisely what I deserved… a beautiful, sexy woman who would take care of my every whim. I was not quite royalty, but a beauty queen who’d cook and clean made me feel like a king.

Well, I didn’t exactly get that… close but no cigar. You see, there were OTHERS for her to take care of beside me. Can you believe it?! There were children she was devoted to… pets that needed her care… customers who were demanding, others that were needy or just in need of help and care. There were friends… and the community… and clergy… and new people in the community and old people in the community. Every one of them needed some attention… For years, THIS PISSED ME OFF! How could she forget about me, even for a moment? This wasn’t our deal! I always wanted to be number one… It took me a long time to realize how really lucky I was just to be on her list.

You know, I thought I helped a lot when her mom needed care. But my contribution pales in comparison to the acts of kindness and love she bestows on my parents every day.

Then I took up horse racing. She thought I was nuts. Nonetheless, she kept her mind open, went to races, experienced the horses and training, as well as summer in Saratoga and has become a full partner in the enterprise. She says there is nothing to compare to the last 15 seconds of a race when your horse wins. I was hoping there was SOMETHING that COULD compare but I guess I’ll take what I can get.

There is only one person that Rhoda does not do a great job taking care of… it’s Rhoda herself. Thankfully, she’s doing well exercising regularly. Now, if she can just keep the blood sugar steady. Honey, I want you around for a long time.

You know, I look around this room and there are many other caring women, aishet chayil, women of valor… and good men too. Maybe that’s why YOU are our friends and family. We’re lucky to have you. But, frankly, each and every one of you is lucky to have her… as a friend, a relative, a realtor, a fellow board member, committee member, Chevra Kadisha member or just as someone you can rely on.

I’m lucky to be sharing her. She is my Aishet Chayil. I don’t sing it to her every Friday night, nor am I as smart as King Solomon who wrote it. But I am smart enough to realize what a prize she is and to want to broadcast my love for her to every corner of the universe. What better place to start that process than by sharing this day and these feelings with you… her friends and family, her colleagues and clients, the people that matter to her most. Thanks for being here and helping me honor her.

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